How It's Like Moving In With My Boyfriend?: What It's Like

by - May 19, 2020

Staying With My Boyfriend

living with my boyfriend

Happy 2nd Month of the Circuit Breaker!

I hope all of you have been doing well during this period of isolation, and if you're attached, well, JIA YOU we're almost at the end. Just a few more weeks to go!

I may have mentioned this in previous posts that I'm co-living with my boyfriend. We actually started staying together wayyyyyy before the Circuit Breaker came into place, so it's not like I'm illegally staying here or anything - a lot of people on my boyfriend's IG have been really butthurt that we're getting to see each other during this period and have been asking him things like "Is this allowed?", "Why is your gf staying with you?" BLA BLA BLA and I'm like, GIRL, it's not my issue if you're butthurt.

Sorry, I got mildly triggered.

But yes - we have been living together for some time, and it's been a journey indeed!
moving in with my boyfriend
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year plus, and I think our relationship progressed and matured pretty quickly because we were very "no nonsense, just wanna be serious". Within 2 months of dating we went on our first trip together, the next month I met his parents, a few more months later he met my parents, and about a year later I started staying over with him regularly. I know it's pretty fast, but that was how our relationship worked and everything has been perfect!
ldr with my boyfriend
We took this approach mainly because both of us have gotten really hurt by other people in the past and and didn't want to waste time on something that was nothing. Also within less than 6 months of getting together, we were already hit with our relationship's biggest challenge - doing long distance. That experience really challenged our relationship and its maturity, and when the LDR was finally done, we emerged much stronger and mature.

But of course, all these happened really naturally for us and we never forced anything when we weren't ready.

Many of my friends were really surprised when they found out I'm living with my boyfriend temporarily, but actually it's not really surprising considering the circumstances. Firstly, I hated living in Hall and was constantly looking for somewhere else to stay. Secondly, while I could live with my aunt, her place is just too small for me which was why I wasn't able to move back with her. Lastly, I don't have a place to stay in Singapore because I'm a foreigner. So considering all these circumstances, it was natural for my boyfriend to take me in.

A lot of people ask me things like, "Oh, how's living together like?" and "How are things with his family?". I think these are really normal things to be curious about, and I'm more than happy to share my co-living experience with my boyfriend.

If you're someone considering moving in with your significant other, maybe this blog post will be a good read for you too!

1. Does the romance sizzle out when you see each other everyday?

It really depends on how you define "romance". My boyfriend and I are still very, very much in love and he still gives me the butterflies every time I look at him. On the other hand, we are already so well-versed with each other that nothing really comes as a surprise anymore.

For those of you HIMYM fans - we're probably a lot like Lily and Marshall. Still giddy in love, but used to seeing each other pee and poop.
lily and marshall
We're also pretty used to showing our un-glam side to one another, like how I regularly walk around with pimple cream on my face and how he walks around with a giant food baby after dinner.

When I first moved in with him, we did address the concern of "romance dying out". Romance (in a commercial sense) would definitely not be as passionate as before, but obviously we still love each other a lot. However, we do make an effort to "keep the fire burning" (sounds cheesy, I know) by having Netflix and Beer nights together, cooking dates, and picking up weird hobbies together like solving puzzles.
moving in with my boyfriend
moving in with my boyfriend
So no, I don't think the romance sizzles out like people assume it does, but it takes some effort to keep that fire ablaze. The fire is still there, of course. But how big it flares up really depends on the effort you put in.

2. What are some benefits of staying together?

Well, there's a lot!

My boyfriend and I are both students in NUS, so we often study together. He's in Biz and I'm in FASS, but we do take some modules together and often help each other revise. It's kinda like living with a project group mate.

Another obvious benefit is that we can see each other all the time, so we can just say whatever we want to. Communication is a lot better because we don't have to talk over the phone. We still quarrel, but it gets resolved much quicker. Since it's the Circuit Breaker period, it's great that we can be living together instead of being apart for 3 months. We already did LDR before and may be doing it again next year if he goes for exchange, so an additional 3 months of  being away from each other would be an ordeal.

Another benefit is that we can play PUBG together. I think that's the best benefit LOL.

3. Do you and your boyfriend quarrel more after living together?

When we first moved in together we quarrelled more often but it was always over insignificant shit. We quarrelled A LOT when gaming together and also when I tried to get him to exercise. To stop fighting so much, we actually had to take a break from gaming and pick up something else to do together. I know this sounds funny but gaming together is really a test of good communication, patience, and ego.

We also get occasionally annoyed at each other's bad habits. My boyfriend likes to leave cups lying around and is always taking new cups before washing the old ones. He also takes forever to wake up in the morning and seriously it's like a whole ritual - waking him up, snoozing 3 times, getting him to use his phone to wake up, finally getting him to sit up, and forcing him out of the bed.

It's a nightmare.

On the other hand, he doesn't like that I always forget to close the doors when the aircon is on, and how I never hang my towels properly.

Now that we're used to staying together, we don't quarrel as much. We also take the time to communicate any unhappiness we have towards each other in order to resolve them. I can be quite paggro at times, so I'm really grateful that my boyfriend is the kind that is straightforward and can tell when I'm upset. When I start showing the slight sign of annoyance, he usually asks what's up and we'll talk about it.

He still does things that annoy the fk out of me, but I've reached a point where I don't care anymore and just let him be. I think it all comes down to getting accustomed to each other's way of living and just letting the other person live.

It's super difficult, but worth it in the end. Now, I just take his cups and clean them myself. He's been learning to clean up after himself too.

4. How are things with your boyfriend's family?

I've always gotten along really well with my boyfriend's family, and it was actually their idea to have me - and even my sister who lives alone - move in with them. I do feel like a burden at times, so I try my best to help around the house, keep things neat, and try to be more proactive and helpful in general.

I actually spend quite a lot of time doing things with my boyfriend's parents like watching TV (mainly the news), playing games, exercising, and cooking. We also have dinner together every night, so that's when we talk and all. It's really not awkward at all since I'm used to being around them and vice versa.

We haven't had any conflicts since I moved in, and I really don't want to jinx myself! I try to be as respectful as I can and help whenever necessary, and I also do my best to make sure that I have a good influence on their son.

5. What are some boundaries you have regarding staying over at each other's place?

For me, the most difficult thing to do is stop myself from cleaning someone's mess. My boyfriend is a very, very messy person and his room is a dump. He often leaves a trail of things he's been doing around the place - like a candy wrapper on the sofa, a glass of water on the table, or dirty clothes on the bed.

Contrary to him, I'm a super neat and tidy person and can't stand the sight of mess. Now that I'm living with him, his man-enclave has to be shared and he isn't used to being tidy. I do nag him every now and then, but I also understand that it is HIS room and it's also up to him to do whatever he wants with it. Usually I just comment on things that are really unhygienic and unacceptable, like leaving food around.

I feel bad that I'm exposing my bf like this but if you're reading this hon - I'm not sorry.

I also do a lot of freelance work and often get tons of assignments every now and then. When I work, I don't stop until work is done and I HATE being interrupted. I think my boyfriend understands this so he usually let's me work and knows how to self-entertain - which I appreciate.

6. Do you start becoming more like one another after moving in together?

Having lived together for a significant amount of time, my boyfriend and I have started becoming little copies of one other.

I used to hate doing workouts but we now do them daily. I also don't drink a lot of water, but have started drinking more ever since I moved in. I used to hate noodles, but I like them now. I never gamed or listened to Reddit podcasts, but now I do.

On the other hand, my boyfriend is learning to help around the house and keep things a little more neat and tidy. He also started watching Korean dramas and now uses an eye mask to sleep. Sometimes, he follows me when I do my skincare routine.

Also, instead of a singular person having a messed up body clock (I mean me), we now BOTH having messed up body clocks. We also have this really bad habit of eating supper, but we're trying to cut down on that.

Living together with my boyfriend is a fun challenge

Moving in with my boyfriend is definitely an interesting experience, and I'll probably miss having him around everyday once I find my own place. On the other hand, I think I'll be very excited to be living alone again since I'm someone who really appreciates my own space. I love my boyfriend very much and I love seeing him everyday, but I think I'm at a point in my life where I'm still more comfortable with living alone. We both have a whole life to live together anyway, so there's no reason to rush it!

So that's my experience of moving in with the boyfie. I hope y'all enjoyed this post and I'll be writing a lot more of these "What It's Like" series since I'm bored and have nothing to do. So do stay tuned for the upcoming posts!

Love this post? Feel free to share and comment below or check out this blog post on my long distance experience.

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